What If
by LittleKitten
Summary: After the events of 'Meridian', Janet thinks about her feelings for Daniel.


What If  
by LittleKitten  
  
~ * ~  
  
  
Janet Frasier quietly shut the door, glancing at her shaking hands quickly before closing her eyes and leaning her head back against the door with a thud.  
  
Three days. Three days since she had been home. Three days since she had been able to concentrate properly.  
  
Three days since she had watched Daniel die in her infirmary, being helpless to save him.  
  
Walking over and unlocking the bottom drawer of her desk, she slowly picked out a photo; running her fingers over the shiny surface portraying Daniel and Cassie standing next to each other and smiling towards the camera, with Sam and Jack playing with Cassie's dog in the background.  
  
It must have been taken years ago; Cassie was a lot younger in the photo than she was now.  
  
Glancing over, she saw that her neglected paperwork was stacking up and devouring at least a quarter of the desk.   
  
  
  
Picking up the fourth piece, she half glared at it before her snoozing computer beeped to let her know she had an email.  
  
Shaking the mouse more vigorously than was probably necessary, the rotating SGC logo turned into her inbox.  
  
Hey mom,   
I know you told me not to email you at work but you haven't been home for ages and there's no food in the house. Can I order a take-away?  
Sam told me what happened, I can't believe it.  
Please come home soon, I miss you :(  
Love Cass   
x  
  
Sighing again, she shut down the computer and grabbed her keys. She couldn't avoid her daughter forever; she probably needed someone to talk about it to. There was no reason to be here anyway. One of the other doctors was on call and there weren't many teams offworld.   
  
Glancing around the infirmary once more from the doorway to check everything was in place, she quickly turned and left, pushing away the lone tear that was trying to force its way down her right cheek.  
  
  
  
Upon opening the door, it was no surprise to Janet to see her daughter already half way down the stairs.  
  
"Mom?" she asked tentatively. Janet tried to smile weakly, knowing that her eyes must look all red.   
  
"Oh Cassie." She mumbled as she drew her into a tight hug.  
  
"You really liked him, didn't you?" Janet heard her ask after a few moments and she pulled back slightly.  
  
"Yes, I did." She said softly, smiling ironically.  
  
"I ordered us a Chinese." Cassie smiled at her, and through the door to the living room she could see that plates had already been put out on the coffee table.  
  
"Thanks." She spoke softly as she slipped her coat off her shoulders and hung it up.  
  
  
  
"The phone's going." Janet dropped her chopsticks to the plate with a clatter, muting the TV using the remote. Usually she would have moved to get it herself, but this time she waited for Cassie to reach over the arm of the couch and grab it.  
  
"Hello? Hi, just hold on a second..." She put her other hand over the receiver.  
  
"Who is it?"  
  
"Dominic," Cassie replied, watching as her mother tilted her head as if to say it was okay if she wanted to talk to him. Picking up the phone again, she walked out of the room. "Hey, I can't really talk right now..."  
  
When she could no longer hear any more, Janet brought the sound back to the TV only to realise that the sit-com they had been watching was over. She absently flicked through the channels, and after skipping though the cocktail of classic movies, comedies, news programs and other things she didn't even pause long enough to find out what they were, she stopped on a black and white movie she recognised.  
  
When Cassie returned a few minutes later, she was just staring at the digitised numbers beneath the TV on the video recorder.  
  
"He just wanted to know if I was free tomorrow afternoon...Hey mom, are you okay?" As Cassie returned to the couch, Janet focused her eyes again. She hadn't even realised she was crying.  
  
"I'm fine." She tried to say with conviction, but not quite managing to.  
  
"Did you love him?"  
  
"What?" she hastily replied, before seeing her daughter's eyebrow raised in scepticism. "I guess I felt a kind of...affection for him." She made an attempt at a smile.  
  
"Did he feel the same way?"  
  
"Hey, aren't I the one who's supposed to be grilling you?" Janet grinned, before answering the question. "Yeah, I think he did."  
  
"But you never-"  
  
"...Did anything about it?" Janet cut in. "Actually, that's not entirely true. We danced at the Christmas party they held at the SGC," she pulled her feet up onto the seat, and hugged her knees. "He kissed me."  
  
Cassie smiled, pulling her mom into a long hug before glancing at the TV.   
  
"I think I'm going to hit the hay now. Night mom." She kissed her cheek gently, pausing before she left the room to look back at the small figure balled up on the couch.  
  
  
  
Janet cocked her head, wondering if the TV should really be that blurred. Blinking a few more times, she came to the conclusion it was, and placed the empty bottle of wine onto the coffee table; reaching for the remote control to switch the TV off.  
  
Hearing a noise, she turned her head to look at the window and saw the curtain moving gently in the breeze.  
  
Hey, but the window was closed. She walked over and stuck out her hand, checking it wasn't just her imagination.  
  
Furrowing her eyebrows as she made her way over to the light switch and the doorway, she looked back. It was moving again, only this time more.  
  
Smiling, she came to a conclusion.  
  
"Daniel." Janet spoke softly, before cutting off the warm glow of the room with one simple flick of her hand and making her way slowly up the staircase.  
  
  
  
*fin*  
  



End file.
